In their final conversation about archetypes within the kingdom of God, Dan, Cathy, and Rachael unpack what it means to be a widow or widower, and how one can become a thriving king or queen. What are the wounds that impact a king or queen, what does true leadership look like, and how does a king or queen bring order to God’s kingdom?
“There is something about being bereft in the middle of some level of significant loss of love that is so crucial for a king/queen to be able to hold and move into. This has been a horrendous time with so many losses, so much complexity, not only culturally but in terms of families.” Dr. Dan Allender
“The widowed heart can either move to a kind of “I just won’t have desire, pleasure, I’ll cut off this capacity and therefore be free to rule and reign unencumbered,” or it can lead to an indulgence in pleasure that keeps the heart from the love we’re most meant for.” Rachael Clinton Chen
“The queen category is a primary place of comfortability for me. A lot of the work I do is creating boundaries, figuring out systems or order that needs to be in place for things to come to be, and more than anything I find myself being the one who can look at a problem and say “Ok, we can figure out a way through and these are the five steps and this is how we’re going to go and everyone get on board and let’s do it.” Cathy Loerzel
“When I think about kings/queens I think about lovers, imagining a world where flourishing is the status quo, where we are living in the ways we are most meant to, so the category of widow/widower makes sense as some of the core woundings because there is a sense of knowing you are made for love and knowing there is a way you can create a world where love flourishes, where there’s a mutual giving and receiving of pleasure, where justice and mercy reign supreme without effort on behalf of all, so on a very grand scale you’re constantly working in the midst of chaos and brokenness to bring about these realities.” Rachael Clinton Chen
“When the king or queen is as you would wish for them to be on your behalf, there’s nothing greater, but the moment that decisions, directions get taken that are not in accord, there’s no position more vilified than a king or queen who is not doing what we, the people, the community, desires.” Dr. Dan Allender
“The weight is intense and it needs to be intense because what you’re called to manage is public, typically it has a lot of consequence and you’re asked to make very difficult decisions that are not necessarily going to be popular but they are the wisest decision that you could make in the moment. And when you do make them, you also need to be the first to own your failure. So there is a tremendous amount of weight that comes from this station of being a king or a queen.” Cathy Loerzel
“To be truly, even if its a misused term, a true servant leader who knows what it is to be at the table rather than sitting at the table is a rare leader and requires a lot of death— to self, to dreams, and power, in order to utilize power in a way that brings honor and goodness.” Dr. Dan Allender
“We’re building a structure that allows for flourishing, mutuality, voices to be at the table, which also allows for significant parts of the leadership community to be filled by prophets, priests, and other kings and queens and allow the fullness of the table to be set so we can all move together for the glory of God and be able to honor what we bring to the table, not diminish it, not decrease it because it is collective, it’s a community.” Cathy Loerzel